There is a beautiful op ed in the NY Times today. It moved me. It moved me more than when I stood in my Los Angeles Apartment at 7am with my then 2 and 4 years olds watching as the second plane hit the Tower and then watching the buildings go down into rubble. I didn't visit ground zero until 2006. I didnt want to see the movies or the documentaries. But this past weekend I watched several documentaries on the National Geographic channel and I was moved beyond the conspiracy theories to the individual stories of pain and loss and heroism.
My partner asked if it made me feel Patriotic. No it did not. I don't know that anything would make me feel justfied to go out in retaliation and kill other countries sons , daughters, mothers and fathers. No I don't even want to know what would make me go there.
But on September 11, 2001 what I thought as I watched it go down in the safety of my bed room 3000 miles away was "Now they know what I feel"
And thats hard to explain. But NY has been the site of my greatest triumphs as well as my greatest tragedies. I never wanted to move there. I turned down Juilliard because it was there. It's always been a very terrifying place for me. And after going through, at that point, eight years of corruption and lies and having felt that the judicial system had committed personal acts of terrorism against me, I thought now NY knows how I feel.
Because as I suffered my personal tragedy people didn't believe the stories I told. They thought it was my fault. These things don't happen. They've never happened to me. And suddenly it had happened to a whole city, something so devastating and horrifying that no one was in their tower of safety and security. Everyone was grieving as I had grieved for eight years and as I continue to grieve for my own losses.
I am sorry for all those who lost loved ones in 911. But I am also sorry for everyone who loses someone whether in war, accidents, suicides or divorce.
I don't believe there are degrees of loss or pain or suffering. It just hurts. And your hurt is as meaningful as mine.
Prayers for the peace that passes all understanding to anyone anywhere who is grieving any loss today.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
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1 comments:
"I don't believe there are degrees of loss or pain or suffering. It just hurts. And your hurt is as meaningful as mine."
I wasn't quite sure if I was with you until you said 'meaningful.' The loss of my uncle can, in no way, trump your court cases in terms of pain or suffering. And vise versa. You're so right: hurt just hurts.
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